Are you sure I am ready for this?

[Deb]

I keep asking the Lord this question and I often wonder if I truly am ready for what he has placed upon me. To me, life is all about preparation for what tomorrow will bring. Many times in my life I've been blessed with trials that have taught me patience, compassion, love, humor, sadness, knowledge, etc... but I never truly thought that I would need all these at one time just to get through each day.

Many of you know what my situation is with my husband Rob, and recently we were faced with taking in his younger brother and raising him and getting him through his final year of school and preparing him for the future... and over the past couple of months, I've been faced with taking care of my mother... recently my oldest daughter and I went to check on my mom (who at the time was living alone) and we found her in the floor, almost dead... stage 3 hypothermia... upon her release from the hospital it was required that she move in with someone and live with them... I am her legal P.O.A. and so I moved her in with me and Rob and our family... mom has seizures thus creating confusion and instability... which contributes to further problems such as overdosing on her medications... someone has to take control and take care.

We are currently looking to find a bigger house... we all are living in our tiny 2 bedroom apartment... there isn't much time for me to take a break and regain my senses, or simply just have some quiet alone time...

I'm on edge a lot and my frustration comes out in all the wrong ways... I try hard to remember what life has taught me, but I honestly wonder if I am ready for this....

[Deb]

Update... we have found a house and have recently gotten moved into it... but it's alot of work, because it's a big house and requires daily cleaning, which is hard for me to do because of my mono and fibro... all of this has been a huge adjustment for everyone involved... me, Rob the kids and mom... mom has fallen a couple of times and it's always hard on me to try and pick her up out of the floor and get her back in bed... but I manage somehow... the last couple of weeks have been good though, because she hasn't had any falls... even though she's still having seizures...

Keep in mind, that it is basically me who takes care of everyone, Rob is in no condition to help pick mom up if she falls and I am the only one allowed to administer her the meds she takes daily...which by the way is 26 pills a day... it is more than a full time job, and it does keep me away from the pc alot... even though I do try to come online for a few minutes each day... well, it's school time and I need to make sure Charlie is ready to do and of course Miranda woke up this morning with large welts all over her body, so today I will be headed to yet another doctors appointment... *sighs*